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on: October 23, 2019, 04:15:18 PM
It was departure time, everyone had already left, I didn't see my parents' car anywhere, I assumed they weren't going to go for me, I decided to walk, while I was doing it, I thought about how sad and lonely my life had been these last two years, I needed someone's hug, their affection, their kisses, someone who just wanted to suffocate their fever was not for me.

As I walked I felt the breeze fall on me, loneliness used to be cruel and devastating, but once I learned to live with her, I was a good friend.

And there he was, he was walking on the other side of the sidewalk, he was the new kid, he was smiling at everybody, with his perfect teeth, it was as if everything on the perfect one, he must have seen someone he knew because he backed off and stood for a while, that's when I saw myself following him with my gaze, and I realized that it had been too obvious in my stalk, I tried to pretend to look for someone and after a while I went on my way, I thought about tasks and other problems but he was a recurrent memory in me, I was too hurt by the past, sometimes I pushed myself to seek love and other only sex, not to get hurt, but I always regretted both and returned to my cave, my shell. Yes, my life was somewhat pathetic, from any point of view outside of me, to me it seemed normal, and where habit and routine make days more passable there is not much to feel.

The last year passed very quickly, I saw him smile (A Rodolfo) and my day made sense, I probably didn't love him but if I felt something nice about him, maybe I also admired him, how he took life as he came, his way of socializing with everyone. I always saw him from the corners, from the darkness, where he couldn't see me, where my shadows didn't dim his light (I know it sounds melancholy and half suicidal, but that's how I felt back then).  Sometimes he would turn and look at me and then smile, as if he felt sorry for me, I would have preferred a thousand times that I had never done that, I didn't want anyone's pity and less of him, I wanted to run away, but no, I was already used to it, so I took my old friend, the book, anyone, I stayed in other worlds where I was the protagonist and where everything was centered on me, sometimes I was a gentleman in the court of King Arthur, other times I visited Juliet's balcony, even though in its place I put a July, so many others warmed me with the texts of the Marques de Sade and others more cried on the shoulder of my celestina, my life passed languid, and each step became heavier, but still I had fun and took the good things of it, one of those days, the teacher put us in teams of two people, thank God she was the one who organized them in another way opened me past as so many painful times happened, I was left alone, that if it was ugly.




Your partner will be Rodolfo

I felt kind of nervous and anxious, I was afraid to do it, but I turned to see him, he just smiled and winked at me.


Don't worry, that doesn't mean anything, he's trying to be friendly with you, forget it, they'll do the work and everything will happen fast, moreover, I'll tell him that I'll do it and he won't do anything, only better work, anyway he had his part of the work, in the qualification, Yes, that's what I'll do - I said to myself but the teacher's screaming voice interrupted me.


Do you agree, Rodolfo?

Of course you do.

And your Manuel?

Well, you see, I work better alone, it's nothing personal with the partner, it's just that...

It's not about what you want, it's in the curriculum and it will be, your partner is Rodolfo and this discussion is over.


As I continued to designate the couples my face rose to a red hue and I felt my cheeks burn with humiliation and the helplessness of not being able to do anything.

If I didn't do what I wanted in front of her, I'll do it from behind.

When the class was over, Rodolfo approached me:


Fence that made the miss angry

Bah, I don't care

So where do we do the work?

At home

Well give me the address and I'll drop you.

Look, the work I do, you do nothing, I give it with the names of both and all happy.

Really? I'm sorry.


I guess that worked out for you, didn't it?

What do you mean?

It's easy if you're in charge, but you can't share responsibilities.

You don't even know what you're talking about, I'll do it like I told you and it's over.

Hahaha no, I want to participate in the project, either we both do it or we don't.


I think he had to give in, in fact he admired his so docile form and at the same time so arrogant, his character that in spite of not allowing himself to be intimidated he did it with all elegance and always smiling. I hated him that whole day, with all my strength, for being so close and yet so far away, for being so cute and so cruel <<< he is not to blame for anything, do not unload your discomfort for everything with him, do the work, know him while, treat him, you have nothing to lose, they will be friends for a while and then you will return to your normal life and he to his. Wrong!  That wasn't going to happen, but how would I know?

Days after we had worked on the project, we got along very well, made jokes, laughed, ate pizza while we worked, drank, talked, it went very well, but when we separated many thoughts tormented me. I left my bedroom and went to the kitchen, in one of the cupboards I found a pack of cigars and I took a lighter, I took them with me to my room and I sat on the window, I tried not to think and smoking I forgot a little, so cigar after cigar, I remembered good moments of my childhood, how well I spent with my cousins and some friends who no longer lived in the neighborhood. All past time was better, perhaps it is the fear of the future that terrifies us, it is uncertainty, what we do not know, fear, that almost always makes us retreat, suddenly while I was fixing my bed to sleep I saw myself in the mirror what had happened to me?  It wasn't bad, I was halfway through my adolescent development, my 1.78 m. I wasn't fat, I wasn't skinny either, I would weigh around 68 or 70, I had one or the other marked muscle, because as a child I played a lot of baseball, I looked at my face, nothing out of the ordinary, but I didn't go unnoticed either, i looked in the mirror and i saw myself tender, sweet, like a kitten, i made a slight meow and smiled, i saw my hair picked up by a ribbon, i let it go, it reached my ear lobe, straight and spurned it looked good, black completely, i smiled again wow! Two smiles the same day? Or are these cigars fulfilling their advertising, making everyone happy, or was something going on?

I curled up between the sheets and fell completely asleep.

The next day was Saturday, so I decided not to get up and lie down for most of the day,


I'm looking for you - I enter my mom in my bedroom and inform me

Are you looking for me? Me? Who?

A boy, I brought him in, he's in the living room

Well, when you go to be there, you send him here, it's Saturday! I'm not getting out of bed.

As you wish, floppy!

Yes mom, I love you too


I went back to lie down no matter who it was, if I wanted to see me come to my room, anyway I was going to dispatch him, that day I was not going to leave the bed


Your mom told me but I didn't believe her, I'll check it out, get up! It's Saturday!

That's why Saturday is for rest.

No, that's what Sunday is for.

Well, Sunday and Saturday.

We have to hurry the work, so upstairs, we have to go to my house, I have to get there before my parents leave, so I don't stay outside.

Grrrr (I grunted something annoying)


I put on a straitjacket and then on top a long sleeved sweater with an integrated hat, a jeans jeans (jeans / jeans) Take a little money from my dresser drawer, cigarette box and lighter


Do you smoke?


Did you know that gives cancer?

<< I smiled in a mocking tone, even though later I regretted it and decided to take advantage of that situation >>.

Don't worry, I'm not going to make you a passive smoker, I'll smoke when you're gone, or I'll go out in the yard.

It's not that, it's that it hurts you.

<< I was about to let out another laugh, but I held back, that gesture was nice, but too much for me, something bland to some extent >>

Thanks for worrying about me.

Yeah, let's go to my place.

Come on, I follow you... wait, Mom?


Can you take us to Rodolfo's house?

No, wait, I brought my dad's car.

Ah... don't mom forget it, I'll be back later.

All right, take care! - I sentence my mother -


He told me about his family, about his continuous trips with his father abroad and everything he saw in those trips. He told me that one of those times in a restaurant, he saw a couple of girls kissing and that gave him a lot of morbidity, when I ask his father this just to tell him that they were very good friends. We both laughed very strongly.


I had a couple of good friends - I continued laughing as her face went from grace to seriousness.

Really? I'm sorry.

Yeah, don't tell me none of my classmates didn't tell you anything.

From what?

Everybody says I'm a faggot

Is it true?

I don't know, I think I'm bisexual, but I'm not sure.

And does it bother you that others think so?

I don't really care, there was a time when I was worried about everything they said, now I've gotten used to it and I understand that people talk anyway, and that sometimes they are cruel (I felt intimidated, I had not talked about it with anyone, I also felt a little uncomfortable) - I better go.

Is that why you're so quiet?

I think so

I'd rather be alone than have you pity me for not living with the rest of them.

In that you are wrong, no one sees you as a pathetic loser, everyone respects you and contrary to what you think never speak ill of you, in fact they think you are too proud or pedantic to talk to them, they believe that you despise them, is all

Oh, really?


This is new for me, I could think a thousand things but never felt that about me (well at least those two years of isolation helped me to mature a bit, if I had not given me a shot)

What do you think of me? (I said in a trembling voice as I lit a cigarette) Can I?

Yes, of course, wait, I'll go for the ashtray.


On his way back he sat a little closer to me.


You want to know what I think of you?

Yes, don't worry, I'm a strong guy, come on, say it

I think you should let other people know you, you're the opposite of what you stand for.

Thank you (I think that it was a matter of time, somehow that afternoon ended up weaving the bond that would unite our lives in a beautiful friendship)


It came the end of courses, we presented our project, we did well, even though we did not get the first place prize, I never liked the second places, and as we had already informed the winners before the award decided not to go, the next day I look for Rodo very annoyed, he yelled at me everything he wanted and then asked me in a somewhat jealous tone where he had been.

Until that moment we had a very nice friendship, he had done a little with his friends and we got along well, let's say he participates more openly in my social group.


Are you ready for prom?

I don't think I'll go - I told Rodolfo

Oh no, let's go even if it's only for a little while

I don't know, I'm gonna think about it.


Rodolfo went away a bit to chat with one of the girls who was throwing him the dogs, that is, flirting with him, a girl who was rounding him. I got a little jealous, but then I laughed at the situation, making fun of myself.

In another corner of the room I saw Lauro and Victor chat while looking at me, I was a little uncomfortable, they approached me and Lauro spoke first.


Are you going to the dance?

I don't know yet

You know what happens after the dance, don't you?

Yes, tradition, everyone fucks with their partner

Yeah, look, Victor and I will take a couple of old ladies, fuck them and then the three of us get together to do something fun.

(I burst out laughing so loud that everyone there listened to me, I was a little sad at first, but then I looked at them in a merciless tone)

I'm not a fag, I'm sorry guys, fuck each other (I said this audibly, everyone turned around and started laughing, I had finally got my revenge.


Let me explain a little, they had made fun of me, they used me, Lauro and Victor had agreed, they had been looking at me strangely for some time, they had planned to make me their bitch, obviously my preferences had no idea, I was only chosen from among all for my naivety or stupidity (this I tell in my first three stories < The Master 1, 2 and 3 > Now I was the one who had used them as buffoons, soon both laughed nervously and pretended to be the clowns of the class so that everyone thought it was a simple joke, but it was too late. It didn't matter to me that after they could take revenge, giving me a tremendous beating, that was my moment and I enjoyed it.

Rodolfo looked at me with a funny tone, but also a little confused, I knew that after that incident would approach me with questions that I was still not sure I should answer.

Later I was at home reading a casual book in my bed, with one hand I held it and in the other I had a cigarette, my inseparable since then, suddenly the telephone rang.



Hello (it was Rodolfo's voice) can I come to your house now?

Yes of course, when you get there you tell my mom that you come to see me and she passes you to my bedroom.

All right, I'll see you in a bit.


When he had arrived, we talked about many things, from the moment he arrived he observed a small backpack and a suitcase, I decided to ask him what it was all about.


are the suits

For what?

For the dance

I told you I wasn't going.

I know.


Anyway, I brought an extra one in case you regretted it before.

You're going to bring a couple Rodolfo and I don't have a partner and I don't want to attend.

Come with me, please, it's an important moment for me, I know these things seem stupid to you, but not to me, so please come with me.

We'll see. It's still three or four hours away.

Yeah, now tell me, what happened in the living room in the morning?

Ah... a joke I made on that pair of assholes.

You think I'm dumb?


So tell me what happened between you two.

Oh no, Rodd, forget it. We'll talk about it later.

Ah as you wish - he said in a somewhat irritated tone -


We continued chatting for a while, I looked at the clock and reminded him that it was less than an hour away


You have to go for your Cinderella.

So you're not coming with me? I wonder and his voice had a slight tone of disappointment

No, I'm sorry.

Well, can I take a shower in your bathroom?



I kept reading while he was bathing, he came out draining water and I could see his naked body... WOW!!!!! I soon went to the closet that was on the other side of the room, I extended the towel trying to hide that his body had dazzled me (he had a pair of powerful thighs, well turned, hair on his legs, his belly flat with some marked squares, as well as his pectorals, his nipples were hard, maybe because of the cold, his back was wide, I would have liked a hug at that time, and his ***** pink dick, in semierection, about 16 or 17 cm, would measure about 19 or 20 cm in all its splendor) I held back as much as I could, after he put on the boxer and pants, helped him put on the shirt, jacket, tie, and while doing this I felt his breath warm and somewhat restless,


I thought I'd take a limousine, but my dad lent me his car.     

That's it, your tie's done.

then you won't come?

No," I said, "I have always been faithful to my decisions.


He was beautiful, he looked really cute in a suit, and with his little face begging me to go with him, more!


So... I'll see you later, okay?

Yes, good luck, and protect yourself, you're too young to have a child.


He just smiled and left.

I was trying to concentrate and read but I couldn't, I thought that bitch for sure wouldn't take her hands off of her, they probably didn't get to the dance and went to fuck around. That made me more sad than angry and I turned off the lamp at night and went to bed.

My cell rang, I turned on the lamp, I looked at the clock, it was three o'clock in the morning.



I woke you up?

Yes, it's three o'clock in the morning... Who is it?

It's me

Ande that it is of dawn and I am not for jokes

I'm Rodolfo

Oh, sorry, I didn't recognize your voice. Did something happen?

No nothing, you see, I'm down here

Whose? (we both smile)

From your house, I'm in the yard, look out the window.     


There I was in front of my house leaning on his father's car, without the jacket and the cell phone in one hand and the other waving it from one side to the other.


come low

Are you an idiot? It's three o'clock in the morning, I'm sleepy and you're remarkably drunk.

I want to talk to you.

Okay, I'll be right down.


I wouldn't have done it for anyone else, I was hoping you'd tell me that the broad you went with threw you out and had to come back, but it was three o'clock, that hypothesis I ruled it out, then? Maybe he met Lauro or Victor and in revenge they told him everything, no, I also discarded it, I thought about all this as I quickly went down the stairs and went out and through the courtyard, I realized that I only wore a boxer attached to the body and a shirt with very thin straps, cross my arms to try to protect me from the cold.


Come on, I'll give you a little warmth.

Don't do that, please.

Oh, we're friends. What can't I hug you?

Not that, it's just that

I never cared that you liked the boys.

And that's what's coming now? You're drunk and we can't talk like that.

Come, I want to hug you

Leave me alone, you stink of alcohol.

You can't let me hug you while you let everybody fuck you.


(so it was that, Lauro or Victor had told him everything)


You're a fucking asshole.

What I don't understand is your reluctance to give me a hug while you let everyone touch you.

with you is different and which ones are all assholes? Go home and then we'll talk

Why is it different with me?

I can't talk to you like that

Tell me, why is it different with me

Shut up, you make a lot of fuss, you'll wake up my parents.

If you don't tell me why it's different with me, I'm gonna go tell your parents everything.

It's because you're my friend, that's why? Now go

Yeah, okay, I'm leaving, even though that wasn't the answer I was looking for.

Wait, you won't be driving like that - I was drunk, driving in that state would practically be suicide.

I drive when and how I want


I hate drunkards, they are so foolish, I took away his keys, I locked the car, put his arm over my shoulder and took him to my room, my mom who had heard something of the scandal came out of his bedroom, saw me with Rodolfo on his shoulder and understood, I go into the closet and take out a sleeping bag and spread it out.


if your friend vomits, you have to wash the carpet and everything that stains, and no more scandal

My mom has always been somewhat strict but very understanding (I love you mom!) I put Rodolfo to bed, I took off his shoes, I loosened his tie knot and took it off along with his shirt and t-shirt, I could see his strong chest and I wanted to lie down on him and kiss him, I held back, I didn't want anything to happen that he didn't agree with, I pulled the belt and trousers in one go, there was the semierección again, I imagine the girl didn't have sex with him or she felt like it. I tried to think other things, I tucked him up, and he took my hand "between dreams" and said I love you!

He must be thinking about his girl, if he woke up he would be disappointed because she is not here; I extended the sleeping that mom had given me, I got into it.


ay the light - I got up to turn it off and went back to bed -     

sleep with me. Manuel?


Come on up. I want to talk to you.

I got between the sheets.

How was the dance?

Normal, even though something was missing

What? What?


Jajaja ah ok, and how about your first time do you like me?

Nothing happened

Why? He didn't want to?

The one who didn't want to was me

But why?

Because I'm in love with someone else


My heart was hanging by a thread, I had the slight hope that he would say that he loved me, but on the other hand never showed such feelings towards me, I thought it was someone else and my heart was going to burst into a thousand pieces.


Whose? Do I know her?


What's it like?

He is a wonderful person, I like his way of being, his way of thinking, looking and smiling, with all his soul.

Wow! I see that if you love her

Have you ever felt that way about anyone?


By whom?

No, I asked you first, so answer me who is it?     

No, you tell me who you felt that for?

Well I know, both at the same time





We answered in unison <for you> I said and he <your>


You're the person I'm sorry for all this. I love you.

Me too... but I don't know, I have my...


I suffocate my words with a kiss, which lasted a while, I lay on his chest, to satiate those crazy cravings


It's silly, but tell me this isn't a dream.

It's not, now sleep that I'll take care of you from now on- and pinch a buttock, at least I wasn't dreaming ;)

I smiled and went back to lie on his chest


Yes? Tell me

You want to be my boyfriend?


What? What?

Sounds funny

But I'm serious.

Excuse me, of course I accept

Now let's go to sleep tomorrow, there's so much to talk about.


The end?!

No, there's still a lot to tell, but for now I'm done, I'm a little tired and I don't want to tire you with so much reading, excuse me if you thought there was going to be sex involved, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I promise you that in the near future I will narrate my sexual adventures with Rodolfo.

Thanks to all my readers, a kiss to all! I love you! A hug and a kiss!



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